As kindergarten comes to a close, I’m feeling more and more disambiguated toward the offspring’s’ academic future. Narly, right? Yes…mostly yes- I guess, but not always…sometimes (you’re pickin up what I’m putting down right?). I have realized throughout kindergarten that no matter how many coping mechanisms Fischer arms himself with, he will always have these mini-regressions, if you will, in order for him to move forward. Like a volcano could erupt, I feel like a “regression” is always a possibility, seemingly out of the blue.
Two years ago when Fish started preschool, icy-cold pinot was a staple in the grocery budget (not just on the list, but incorporated into the budget). I feared everything about him starting his academic career: the anxiety of starting a new routine, new people, and exposure to a classroom environment with the smells, acoustics, and social norms that accompany it. I worried for nothing- he more than surpassed my expectations on day 1; his teach said that “you would have never known it was his first”, albeit a saturation of sensory overload. Pinot was already in the budget, so why not just keep it there?
So many parents and adults do not have a clue how difficult and trying school is for a child with sensory processing obstacles. I have always used the word obstacles as opposed to disorder because people hear “disorder” and their minds go to places that don’t pertain to my child. I would venture that about 2% of new people that I talk to about SPD have heard of it. And even after I explain it to them, they still don’t really “get it”. They say, “So, it’s like autism”. Then I have to go into how a large amount of children with autism also deal with sensory processing obstacles, which makes their struggle even more difficult. This is why I digress so much…it has nothing to do with a stellar case of ADHD.
When the typical child gets done with school, they eat, play, watch TV, do homework, or attend extra-curricular activities. Fischer functions in a “normal” school environment with mostly “normal” behaviors for his age. But, he is able to do this because of coping mechanisms he learned in OT and techniques taught at home. When Fish gets home from school, it’s more important that he get in his heavy work/proprioceptive input then it is to participate in extra-curricular activities or do “homework”. We’ve got about 3 hours when we get home, and he requires 30 minutes of activity (no more, no less) and it must end at least an hour before he goes to bed, otherwise he can’t get his nervous system to calm down and sleep. Eating, and then bathing falls third on the list of priorities, which I imagine will have to take a higher precedence as he gets older.
Kindergarten has been full of ups and downs, mostly ups, and again Fischer exceeded expectations. His OT (my personal, quick psychologist) tells me that as long as he is progressing, making positive social connections, forging relationships and is happy in school, she’s not worried. “Common-core standards are not for Fischer” (not a topic I’m capable of discussing without extreme irritation). This system links to public school funding, which for all intents and purposes makes what is considered a “good” school, which actually has nothing to do with the best interests of children and isn’t that what education is about? It isn’t as cut and dry as this, and I wouldn’t even claim to have the answer. Many public schools that would not necessarily be considered a “good” school by mainstream standard provide a solid education with less pressure on students to conform to this cookie-cutter style of learning. This is why I chose a project-based learning, private school curriculum for kindergarten. It caters to Fischer’s style of learning.
Public school works for many children, and I would never ever knock any parent’s choice for their child, but I feared that Fischer’s interests and talents would be squashed in this setting. As kindergarten closes, he hasn’t mastered 100 words, but he rigged my drain stopper so I could soak clothes in the sink. He constructed a windmill with scissors, duct tape, straws, random household trinkets, and I believe a piece of fake bamboo which he chopped off from a Pier One piece. Dirty martini day.
He’s had periods where it feels like he’s regressing, but he always comes out of them more advanced. And I’m starting to understand that there are logical reasons if I dig deep enough. The anticipation of something exciting, like vacation or Christmas, can cause deregulation because it’s out of the ordinary. He counted down to Christmas and Easter 60 days in advance and it caused disruptions in his behavior. And I will NEVER tell him about a vacation more than a week in advance. Fischer gets “spring fever” in his own way- snow melting, blooms, changes in lighting, and changes in clothing. He deals with things that do not phase most. I never thought vacation was even in the cards for us, and he roamed around Chicago as if he and I were crossing the streets alone with no cars in sight. It is reasons of this ilk that I’m not (too) worried about him leaving his early education school and moving onto Montessori school. This is why I’m changing my mentality- phases of seeming regression are nothing more than adjustment periods.
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