If you are easily offended and you procreate, you might need to find foster care for your child during the toddler years; especially if your young is of the male species. Boys are fearless cannibals who devour you with their ruthless toddler talk. Over the past few days, the offspring has spout off multiple opinions and phrases that I hope and pray he never repeats to anyone other than myself. My feathers are not easily ruffled. I can typically deal with most of his neanderthal bents, not that I have a choice. This week, I'm reaching a boiling point.
Today, Fischer told me that his supper tasked like "rotten chicken poop." Seriously kid, I might fail in the supermom race on a daily basis, but I can cook. Now, you're telling me that my culinary skills are lacking as well? Many times, his sensory issues with taste cause issues based on the type of day he's had. I asked what the problem was because he'd eaten the same thing at my mother's house earlier in the week. (Responds) "It's just gross mom." I'd ask him how he knew what chicken poop tasted like, but I'm pretty sure that his answer might make me gag.
Last night, he kept putting his bottom in my face and asking me to smell his butt. Really? Then came the gas. Offspring says, "mom, how's that smell", then laughs. What is the deal with boys and gas? I have always taught him that gas is not something to laugh about; we should just say excuse me. I suppose i shouldn't be surprised, because many of the men I surround myself with are unabashed about their bodily functions; even grown men think gas is funny.
Similarly, a few days ago, he kept putting his feet in my face and asking me if they stunk. I asked him to get his feet out of my face and the little shit responds with, "oh, sorry mom, I thought that was dad's face." I'm pretty sure I sound like I'm raising a houligan. I'm really not; he's actually quite a thoughtful, sweet, polite kid.- when he's not with me. Unfortunately, that is 95% of the time.
These antics pissed me off. Hey... I can actually vent AND curse because he can't hear me. I can no longer utilize many of my favorite words for fear that he will repeat. And he WILL repeat. Apparently, 'dammit' is a pleasing word for a toddler to regurgitate.. Daddy's friend says the "F-word". Fischer knows that the "F-word" is naughty. Technically, he doesn't say it. And he chooses the most inopportune moments to tell me that he doesn't say the "F-word", like when we are in public...with old people around...and other kids. As you have probably already guessed, he uses the actual word when telling me it isn't appropriate to say it. One of our biggest struggles is impulse control and his utter lack of a filter. Fischer's SPD causes impulse control issues. He cannot control his impulses to grab and repeat what he hears. But, thanks to OT and his coping mechanisms, strangers have no idea that I'm not just a horrible, white-trash mom who thinks it's funny when her kid curses. But, I've accepted that "I'm that mom"; there are far worse tragedies in life than being the trashy lady in the store with the unruly kid.
Today, Fischer told me that his supper tasked like "rotten chicken poop." Seriously kid, I might fail in the supermom race on a daily basis, but I can cook. Now, you're telling me that my culinary skills are lacking as well? Many times, his sensory issues with taste cause issues based on the type of day he's had. I asked what the problem was because he'd eaten the same thing at my mother's house earlier in the week. (Responds) "It's just gross mom." I'd ask him how he knew what chicken poop tasted like, but I'm pretty sure that his answer might make me gag.
Last night, he kept putting his bottom in my face and asking me to smell his butt. Really? Then came the gas. Offspring says, "mom, how's that smell", then laughs. What is the deal with boys and gas? I have always taught him that gas is not something to laugh about; we should just say excuse me. I suppose i shouldn't be surprised, because many of the men I surround myself with are unabashed about their bodily functions; even grown men think gas is funny.
Similarly, a few days ago, he kept putting his feet in my face and asking me if they stunk. I asked him to get his feet out of my face and the little shit responds with, "oh, sorry mom, I thought that was dad's face." I'm pretty sure I sound like I'm raising a houligan. I'm really not; he's actually quite a thoughtful, sweet, polite kid.- when he's not with me. Unfortunately, that is 95% of the time.
These antics pissed me off. Hey... I can actually vent AND curse because he can't hear me. I can no longer utilize many of my favorite words for fear that he will repeat. And he WILL repeat. Apparently, 'dammit' is a pleasing word for a toddler to regurgitate.. Daddy's friend says the "F-word". Fischer knows that the "F-word" is naughty. Technically, he doesn't say it. And he chooses the most inopportune moments to tell me that he doesn't say the "F-word", like when we are in public...with old people around...and other kids. As you have probably already guessed, he uses the actual word when telling me it isn't appropriate to say it. One of our biggest struggles is impulse control and his utter lack of a filter. Fischer's SPD causes impulse control issues. He cannot control his impulses to grab and repeat what he hears. But, thanks to OT and his coping mechanisms, strangers have no idea that I'm not just a horrible, white-trash mom who thinks it's funny when her kid curses. But, I've accepted that "I'm that mom"; there are far worse tragedies in life than being the trashy lady in the store with the unruly kid.
RSS Feed